This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.
He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.
Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.
Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.
So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"
There were three stranded men walking down a sandy beach on a deserted island. They walk a little ways and find a magic lamp. So they decide since they are stranded that they might as well rub it. After they rub it a genie pops out and says each one has one wish.
The first man wishes he was at home making love to his wife. POOF, he's gone
The second man wishes that he was at his favorite strip club, drinking a beer with his friends. POOF, he's gone.
The third man doesn't know what to do, so he thinks for a minute and says, "hmm, you know i really wish those two were back here to help me make my descision."
There were three stranded men walking down a sandy beach on a deserted island. They walk a little ways and find a magic lamp. So they decide since they are stranded that they might as well rub it. After they rub it a genie pops out and says each one has one wish.
The first man wishes he was at home making love to his wife. POOF, he's gone
The second man wishes that he was at his favorite strip club, drinking a beer with his friends. POOF, he's gone.
The third man doesn't know what to do, so he thinks for a minute and says, "hmm, you know i really wish those two were back here to help me make my descision."
There were three stranded men walking down a sandy beach on a deserted island. They walk a little ways and find a magic lamp. So they decide since they are stranded that they might as well rub it. After they rub it a genie pops out and says each one has one wish.
The first man wishes he was at home making love to his wife. POOF, he's gone
The second man wishes that he was at his favorite strip club, drinking a beer with his friends. POOF, he's gone.
The third man doesn't know what to do, so he thinks for a minute and says, "hmm, you know i really wish those two were back here to help me make my descision."
There was i nuttie older man in my dreams married to a much younger woman, and i was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So i went to the doctor and was told i should please myself before having sex and i would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, i gets a call from my wife says she's very horny. On my way home, i remembers what the doctor said and i decides to jerk it before i gets home. I thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So i gets under the car, closes my eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at my pants leg. In order to keep the image of my beautiful wife in my dreams, i didn't open my eyes, but i just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm nuttie and checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister nuttie, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."
There was i nuttie older man in my dreams married to a much younger woman, and i was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So i went to the doctor and was told i should please myself before having sex and i would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, i gets a call from my wife says she's very horny. On my way home, i remembers what the doctor said and i decides to jerk it before i gets home. I thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So i gets under the car, closes my eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at my pants leg. In order to keep the image of my beautiful wife in my dreams, i didn't open my eyes, but i just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm nuttie and checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister nuttie, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."
HE!HE!
YU KNOW HOWS TO USE DA ICONS NOW! HE!HE! SE NO MALIE! YU COPY MY JOKE FROM DE ADA FORUM AN CHANGE, DAS WHY IS NOW NOW YU IS THE JOKE!
SEE ! YU THINK SPADE ALL DA TIME, NOW YU WANTS TO BE SPADE. HE!HE!
As an airplane is about to crash, a very old lady passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
Me nuttie stands up, removes my shirt and i says, "Here, come to nuttie!", da old lady goes "fvck off!". HE!HE!
As an airplane is about to crash, a very old lady passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
Me nuttie stands up, removes my shirt and i says, "Here, come to nuttie!", da old lady goes "fvck off!". HE!HE!
I SEE ! YU ABEL TO EDIT MY POSTS, AND CHANGE MY JOKES!
I POST THEM ON DA ADA FORUM, YU CAN POST THEM HERE FOR ME. HE!HE!
As an airplane is about to crash, a very old lady passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
Me nuttie stands up, removes my shirt and i says, "Here, come to nuttie!", da old lady goes "fvck off!". HE!HE!
There was i Mr SPADE Polo Nuttie old man, in my dreams married to a much younger woman, and i was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So i went to the doctor and was told i should please myself before having sex and i would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, i gets a call from my wife says she's very horny. On my way home, i remembers what the doctor said and i decides to jerk it before i gets home. I thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So i gets under the car, closes my eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at my pants leg. In order to keep the image of my beautiful wife in my dreams, i didn't open my eyes, but i just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm nuttie and checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister SPADE Polo Nuttie, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."
There was i Mr SPADE Polo Nuttie old man, in my dreams married to a much younger woman, and i was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So i went to the doctor and was told i should please myself before having sex and i would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, i gets a call from my wife says she's very horny. On my way home, i remembers what the doctor said and i decides to jerk it before i gets home. I thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So i gets under the car, closes my eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at my pants leg. In order to keep the image of my beautiful wife in my dreams, i didn't open my eyes, but i just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm nuttie and checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister SPADE Polo Nuttie, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."
HE!HE!
MR SPADE POLO
HEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE YOU GUYS ARE SO PATHETIC LOL
There was i Mr SPADE Polo Nuttie old man, in my dreams married to a much younger woman, and i was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So i went to the doctor and was told i should please myself before having sex and i would last longer. One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, i gets a call from my wife says she's very horny. On my way home, i remembers what the doctor said and i decides to jerk it before i gets home. I thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So i gets under the car, closes my eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at my pants leg. In order to keep the image of my beautiful wife in my dreams, i didn't open my eyes, but i just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm nuttie and checking my axle; I think it's come lose." "Well, mister SPADE Polo Nuttie, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."
HE!HE!
MR SPADE POLO
hahaha..!! spade can you at least comb your hair properly next time..! hehehe..! hihi..! choooohoooo..!!
THE REAL SPADE TRY TO REGISTER BUT ADMIN SAY IT NOT AVAIL, SOMEONE ALREADY REG, I KNOW WHO! NUTTIE ALREADY REG UNDER SPADE SO HE USE MY NAME AGAINST ME. SO I VERY UPSET I FOR A 1/2 SECOND, HE!HE!HE!HE!
THE REAL SPADE TRY TO REGISTER BUT ADMIN SAY IT NOT AVAIL, SOMEONE ALREADY REG, I KNOW WHO! NUTTIE ALREADY REG UNDER SPADE SO HE USE MY NAME AGAINST ME. SO I VERY UPSET I FOR A 1/2 SECOND, HE!HE!HE!HE!
NUTTIE I NOW IT HARD FOR YU NOTS TO BE ME. HE!HE!
I WONDER WAT SPADE DOIN
So in other words, you are a looser SPADE...??? Hahaha..!! LOOSER..! hehe!
Recently a mans friend had passed away. The funeral came and went and the man did not attend. When asked by another friend why he didn't attend the funeral, the man replied, "I didn't go because now he wont come to mine."
THE REAL SPADE TRY TO REGISTER BUT ADMIN SAY IT NOT AVAIL, SOMEONE ALREADY REG, I KNOW WHO! NUTTIE ALREADY REG UNDER SPADE SO HE USE MY NAME AGAINST ME. SO I VERY UPSET I FOR A 1/2 SECOND, HE!HE!HE!HE!
NUTTIE I NOW IT HARD FOR YU NOTS TO BE ME. HE!HE!
I WONDER WAT SPADE DOIN
So in other words, you are a looser SPADE...??? Hahaha..!! LOOSER..! hehe!
WHO SAID DAT? HE!HE!HE!HE!HE!HE! MMMMMM
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