The truth is simple enough. Funerals in Samoa are stressful business.

Big money for business people who benefit from the ‘love’ of relatives who want an all out splurge for what we often term as the ‘final act of love’ for the deceased.

What an expensive final act! You wonder if the deceased would suffer a second death if he/she could be told how ridiculously expensive his/her funeral is.
These days, it’s not unusual for the funeral bill to run past $100,000. Most of the time, the bulk of it is on credit where survivors are then left to pay.
And dear or dear… some of them join their dead relative sooner rather than later as a result of stress. What a tragedy!
No one can deny it. We’re all guilty. Every Samoan knows about it and yet we just cannot get away from it.

It’s the fa’aSamoa, we keep telling ourselves. As long as we are Samoans and speak Samoan, we can never change it, we seem to think.
The irony of it all is that many of us want to change because we simply cannot afford it. Honestly, we don’t have the money. Tell ourselves that.
It is why comments by our Head of State, His Highness Tui Atua Tupua Tamasese Efi at this week’s Families Commission conference on Pacific families in Auckland are interesting to note.

Following the tsunami which killed 143 people, Tui Atua challenged our tradition of extravagant gift-giving at funerals, given many victims were buried quietly, without the usual fanfare and expense.
“The paraphernalia that we have become accustomed to seeing at a Samoan funeral, especially one held in the villages, was so scaled down that one could not help but ask: how much of it do we really need?” His Highness said.

Samoans are proud people, he admitted, which perhaps explained the extravagant nature of funerals.
“The social stigma of losing face if family resources are found wanting is so great that family heads are willing to do almost anything to avoid it, including creating inter-generational debt,” Tui Atua said.

But lessons from the tsunami should not be lost, His Highness reminded.
“The seeming ordinariness of the tsunami funerals, with the minimum fuss and bother that surrounded them, did not, however, lose any face by their simplicity. Instead, they gained in that they reminded us of what really mattered. In this instance, rather than raging menace, the tsunami chastened and cleansed.”

He added:  “If we were honest, this has been allowed to go off the rails and has created a burden, not only an uneasy burden but a very heavy burden, so that in fact now at someone’s funeral it militates against the very core reasoning behind it, which is relief [for the bereaved]. It provides anything but relief!

“I don’t know whether what I am saying is going to impact on people, but right now, particularly in the environment of crisis, it calls for leadership to say this is a problem.”
We thank the Head of State for raising this issue. Words of wisdom, we say. They are words every Samoan should take a minute to think about seriously.

We acknowledge it’s not an easy issue. To change now will go against everything we’ve become accustomed to over so many years. Some will argue we will become more “palagiarised” if we change.  
It’s a free world of course. The choice is yours.

We are encouraged, however, by our Head of State, showing true leadership to acknowledge that this is a problem.
What’s needed, however, are concrete actions because this is not the first time this issue has been raised. It’s been talked about many times before. Still, old habits die hard.
Perhaps our leaders at all levels of the community can lead the way. 

Government, church, village and family leaders should desist from the practice of turning up to funerals expecting to return home with a sua (gift of food and money) and whatnot. 
The same should be said of Cabinet Ministers, Members of Parliament and senior government officials who turn up to the opening of village projects - paid for by aid and taxpayers - with that expectation.